I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize