Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
