break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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