Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
