You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
