C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
