That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
