I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize