omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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