So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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