I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
