: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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