Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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