he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
