trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You pole danced in your parka.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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