I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
