dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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