His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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