He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
