Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
