when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
