Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Her vagina smelled like chicken

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

why do you say that

(605): View more from South Dakota

chicken smells like everything

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon

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(703): View more from Virginia

I've been living off of popsicles and broth.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

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(330): View more from Ohio

I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now

(330): View more from Ohio

Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.

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