i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
