Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
