Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
