My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
