How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
