And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
try to milk me bitch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
