Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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