Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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