God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
sex in a hospital.. check
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
