so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
