i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
that's an acceptable place to lick
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
