Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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