I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
