You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize