Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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