found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize