What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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