I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
