I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize