i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
