She's JV to your varsity
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize