My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
