Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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