I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
