ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
