he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
