Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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