i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize