can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
