I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
