she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize