so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize