this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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