Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
