I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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