Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize