I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
