you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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