Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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