Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
