I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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