Do vagina's smell?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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