the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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